Why Capacity Matters
Do you have the capacity to receive AND hold on to what you think you want?
Let’s try it – how does it feel in your body to imagine inviting a loving, healthy relationship into your life?
Where do you feel this in your body? What sensations do you feel when you imagine this? How does it feel – expansive or constricting? Do you feel a sense of lightness at the prospect of sharing your life with a supportive partner, or does the thought of this agitate you because your nervous system is used to chaotic relationships? Did you have to self-soothe as a child so now the thought of living with someone else makes you anxious because you are truly most comfortable alone?
I get it. I used to be the person who didn't want to be in a relationship because I felt safest by myself. In the years after my divorce, I actively built my capacity to desire and then eventually receive a healthy, loving relationship into my life - and my husband and I are celebrating six years together this month.
Capacity also significantly informs our relationship with money.
Do you believe that money is finite and that accepting more into your life will take away from someone else? Do you believe that money is evil? Or that having more money than you need somehow makes you a bad person? Imagine waking up to $1 million in your bank account. How does this feel in your body? Are you filled with excitement and a sense of freedom or do you feel panic and dread that you now will have more responsibilities, more paperwork, more hassle and possibly may have to take care of more people?
Imagine being healthy and vibrant. Does this feel wonderful to your nervous system or are you sensing constriction possibly worried that you may not have time to rest, or that you'll have to break your boundaries more often now that you're "healthy" and people will expect you to be more active and social?
Truth be told – due to a variety of reasons, including current nervous system set points, personal traumas (aka overwhelming activations that were never fully processed) and transgenerational epigenetic inheritance, many of us lack the capacity to receive and keep what it is we think we want.
My system – the Salt & Starlight method, guides you in increasing capacity through both conscious (salt) and subconscious (starlight) tools and interventions so that you can create the space to welcome in and hold on to the experiences you desire.
I’m trained in several modalities and most often use a mix of:
- somatic therapy so that you can fully connect with and integrate the emotions and memories stored in the soft tissues of your body
- Internal Family Systems which allows you to meet, understand and integrate exiled & fragmented parts of your psyche
- Human Design which provides a very specific and customized energetic blueprint of your innate gifts and rhythms and of course,
- PSYCH-K® which enhances capacity & nervous system setpoints by allowing you to identify and change self-perception and limiting beliefs at the subconscious level
I’m currently booking for February 2023 so in the meantime, I will be posting more content designed to help support you on a conscious level. I encourage you to ask yourself these questions and observe how your body and nervous system react to imaging what it is that you think you want - you may be very surprised to learn that it doesn't actually feel safe for you! This dissonance will result in a very frustrating pattern of 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. Your body and subconscious will never run towards anything perceived as unsafe and will actually actively avoid it at all costs.
My system integrates attachment style, polyvagal theory, nervous system regulation, implicit and explicit experiential memory work and belief change on the subconscious level for a truly bespoke, transformative approach. Once you speak the language of the body and subconscious, rapid and lasting change follow quickly.
What do you want to invite most into your life right now? How does the thought of this feel in your body?
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Also in Self-Care Sunday Blog Posts
New Year Sweetness
- Gather your supplies. You'll need a large bowl filled halfway with water and 4-12 de-stemmed blooms of your favorite flower(s). Notes: Roses are said to have the highest vibration of any flower.
- Find a comfortable seat on the ground on a yoga mat or cushion - either inside or outside. You may want to place a rolled blanket underneath your sits bones to help support you and keep your pelvic bowl and spine in alignment. Arrange your supplies as desired around your space with the bowl of water directly in front of you.
The Energetics of Chasing
Whether it’s love, good health, a solid relationship, serenity, freedom, a title, respect, or a certain number in the bank or on the scale - anything you chase will always be outside of you.
Apart from you.
A Perpetual Separation.
The energy of chasing by nature keeps you in pursuit and the desired "thing" running away from you. This creates more resistance & frustration and actually widens the gap between you and what you want.
Andrea Pacini
Author