With the fresh slate of a new year, thoughts turn to making changes - assessing where we are and the steps needed to take where we want to be. For most of us, this includes revising our lifestyle to include more health, more wellness, more meditation, more abundance, more travel, more career success, more alone time, more family time, more partner time, more hobby time, more gym time, more friend time - whew, that sounds pretty exhausting and overwhelming huh?
No wonder so many goals and resolutions go unrealized - we strive so hard to change everything to what we :think: it should look like, in the process telling ourselves that we aren't good enough as is thus attracting more experiences and people into our life that reinforce this belief, starting the vicious cycle over again next New Year's Day!
Goals are important because they keep us aligned with our mission and path so that we're not easily pulled away from our center. But how can we create a shift that will allow us to cultivate positive growth and change that's in true alignment with our life path and highest self and not anyone's else?
1. Write your obituary. Yes, really. This can be a sobering exercise but it sheds lights on our priorities and the kind of life we want to lead. Is how you're spending time now supporting the legacy you want to leave? If so, how can you incorporate more of these activities in your life? If not, what action steps can you take to help get you closer to the life you want to lead?
2. Create a clear vision of your highest self and consult with her often. Oftentimes this is who we think we would be if fear and money weren't factors, if all perceived limitations were removed - What does she look like? How does she act? How does she treat others? Spending a few minutes each day connecting with this energy allows us to channel and integrate it into everyday life. Making decisions from your place of highest self brings clarity to goals and motivations and guides us to act in ways that are more in alignment with our true natures.
3. Mind our thoughts: "What we think is what we become" so if we repeat and write down on all of our goal sheets "I need to lose weight," we will find ourselves always needing to lose weight. If we paste an image of a Victoria's Secret model to our vision board and it makes us feel like shit about our own body every time we look at it, this works against us by perpetuating the belief of unworthiness being in our own skin. Try switching up the inner dialogue with a proactive affirmation, "I, state your name, am state your goal weight and size. I am fit, healthy and strong. I am confident, joyful, safe and at-home in my body. I enjoy a healthy relationship with myself and with food." This type of inner dialogue shifts our subconscious thinking from scarcity or "I'm not enough as is" to abundance "I'm so grateful for an unlimited food supply, my health and my body and all that it does for me."
4. Balance. When creating a life vision, it's important to address all aspects of life. If we only set work-related goals, our personal lives and health will suffer. Writing three main goals for each area of my life helps me get clear about what I want to create and the types of experiences I want to call in. One of my relationship goals this year is to do something to surprise my husband at least once a month - this can be a nice card, a special meal or activity that is out of the norm in our routine. My self-care goals include taking at least one detox bath per week, reading for 20 minutes a day and enhancing my existing meditation practice (the full 10-page New Year worksheet is on sale in my Etsy shop for only $4 through January 7.)
5. Create palatable goals to help you achieve these visions. What three tangible steps can you take to support your main goals? Making them as specific as possible reduces the overwhelm and makes them more manageable. "I want to spend more time in nature" becomes "I will watch sunrise at the beach at least one Saturday this month" and "I will sit outside for 10 minutes a day this week."
6. Work backwards. Create a goal pyramid with your ultimate goals on the top and then fill in 2-5 year goals; this brings clarity to the daily habits needed to support your vision.
7. Let go of what's no longer serving you - is there a toxic relationship, belief, pattern or habit that you know is holding you back from being all you can be? Is there something that's gotten particularly hard to hold on to recently? Lovingly release this thing from your life, and fill up the void with more things that feel good for you. Maybe this means subbing more reading for less screen time, or more thank you notes for less complaining.
What are your go-to tips for creating goals? What experiences do you want to call in this coming year? Do you have a word, phrase or mantra for 2020? Mine is BOLD!
Whether it’s love, good health, a solid relationship, serenity, freedom, a title, respect, or a certain number in the bank or on the scale - anything you chase will always be outside of you.
Apart from you.
A Perpetual Separation.
The energy of chasing by nature keeps you in pursuit and the desired "thing" running away from you. This creates more resistance & frustration and actually widens the gap between you and what you want.