Highest Self & The Art of Transformation
Scorpio Season is all about depth, introspection, truth and transformation. Transformation can be at once a scary and exciting proposition, but sometimes the fear of the unknown can keep us clinging to old stories, patterns and beliefs that we've long outgrown. This month is the perfect time to go deep into yourself, find and identify what's no longer serving you, lovingly release it and assume your new identity.
I think most of us want to be the highest version of ourselves, but what exactly does that mean and how does that look? A helpful, tangible exercise is to write your obituary. This may sound macabre, but if life is a journey, it's helpful to know the final destination so that we can more easily plan the best route to arrive there.
Take some time this week to write your obituary as you want it to read. What legacies do you want to leave behind? Think about the lives that you want to touch, people or animals you want to help, and causes that are close to your heart. What work is meaningful for you? What achievements do you feel you have to accomplish in this lifetime in order to feel complete and self-actualized? How do you want people to describe and remember you? How do you want to describe yourself? These are all incredibly deep questions that may awaken some dusty ghosts. Be patient with yourself, lean in to the discomfort knowing that this cocoon phase can feel suffocating and painful, but is necessary on your path to taking flight.
This exercise helps provide clarity about how I truly want to be living life. It helps to consult my obituary on a regular basis - if something I'm currently pursuing isn't part of my legacy or higher self, it's much easier to let it go.
Most of us have grown so comfortable with our pain and trauma that we use it as a security blanket which subconsciously keeps us small and complacent. It's what we know and have known for so many years. It's predictable and manageable at this point and therefore easier to deal with in the familiar ways of numbing, denial, stuffing down, co-dependent or self-sabotaging behavior. And so we repeat the same cycle for years on end, never able to break free from the stagnant patterns that we believe are keeping us safe. So many times, our entire identities are formed around these experiences and it's unfathomable to ever let them go.
We should never forget what we've been through. We should never deny how these painful experiences have shaped our lives. But we can re-frame these experiences to help empower us rather than weaken us.
Think of two or three major traumas or life events that you've experienced. This can include anything from divorce, betrayal, the death of a loved one, an ongoing toxic relationship with a partner or family member, abuse of any kind (sexual, physical, verbal, emotional), molestation, poverty, illness, hospital stays, an unstable childhood or assault.
Divide a piece of paper into two columns: in one column, list what happened to you, e.g. divorce. In the second column, write how this experience has made your stronger, e.g. I had to restart my entire life over at the age of 35, re-establish my finances and career and emerged a more powerful, discerning, self-assured, strong, compassionate, wise and loving person.
Another example of trauma - lots of moving around and changing schools as a child. How it's made me stronger: I am incredibly adaptable to change and new situations and can find common ground with most people I come into contact with.
Repeat this practice with each of your major traumas as many times as needed. By re-framing our most painful experiences, we can own them fully and use them to become authentically empowered, self-assured beings with a specialized outlook on the world and can even then help bring healing and compassion to others who have been through similar experiences.
Transformation is en ever-evolving practice - truths will be revealed in their own time. This is a cycle, just like everything else in nature. Be gentle with yourself during this process and remember everything you have lived through, survived and conquered. You are fully equipped to graduate to the next stage of your life.
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The Energetics of Chasing
Whether it’s love, good health, a solid relationship, serenity, freedom, a title, respect, or a certain number in the bank or on the scale - anything you chase will always be outside of you.
Apart from you.
A Perpetual Separation.
The energy of chasing by nature keeps you in pursuit and the desired "thing" running away from you. This creates more resistance & frustration and actually widens the gap between you and what you want.
Andrea Pacini
Author